While it may not be now on today’s top 40 list of songs, one great American standard truly resonates with older people. The song, recorded by many, including Frank Sinatra, is called “The Second Time Around.” The lyrics go like this:
Love is lovelier the second time around
Just as wonderful with both feet on the ground
It’s that second time you hear your love song sung
Makes you think perhaps that love, like youth, is wasted on the young
Love’s more comfortable the second time you fall
Like a friendly home the second time you call
Who can say what brought us to this miracle we’ve found?
There are those who’ll bet love comes but once, and yet
I’m oh, so glad we met the second time around
How wonderful! But as is true with many things, consideration of the practical is also an important aspect of maintaining, as the song says, “this miracle.” Older people who have acquired experience and hopefully wisdom while on life’s journey can certainly understand this.
To that end, it is important for older couples to think carefully about arrangements that they may choose to make in establishing a household with another in later life. For some, marriage is appropriate, while others may prefer a domestic partnership arrangement or a situation where each maintains his or her separate residence, sharing only in certain assets and liabilities. There is not necessarily a perfect right or wrong answer. A conversation with an attorney can help sort out which approach is best suited in your situation.
Basic documents such as prenuptial or domestic partnership agreement can support the relationship by defining the parameters of each member of the couple. Clarification of expectations and avoidance of conflict can also be achieved by thoughtful estate planning documents such as wills, trusts, personal financial power of attorney, and advance health care directives. Articulating one’s wishes honestly and competently will do much to promote love, the second time around.